Balance. It's a simple word, but can be so hard to achieve. Between two jobs, a homeschooler and toddler with extra needs, life can spiral very quickly. We definitely have had our times that it seems like we are going crazy, but I am going to share some tips we have found that have helped us.
First: Find your support system and let them support! This is such a hard thing to do sometimes, but can really be the difference between failure and success. Whether its family, friends, coworkers, or some other form of support group. Find people who have your best interest in mind and surround yourself with them! Micah and I are so fortunate to have a great support system in our families and church. They have helped us through some of the most trying times, and just having people to let you talk about how you’re feeling without judgement is amazing. I realize that everyones situation is different, and some may not have supportive families, so in those instances, I would suggest finding the people you have in your life that you can count on. Micah and I have both had bosses that understood when we needed to take Nate to the hospital last minute, and bosses that didn't. There have been tough situations that we have had to switch job's or positions so we could have that flexibility, but in doing so we have found the best tribe.
Second: Date nights!! At the risk of sounding cheesy, Micah is my favorite person, and I am his. ❤ We fell in love, got married and started a family together for a reason, date nights help remind us of those reasons. Sure we talk daily and mostly eat dinner as a family, but there is something so fun about getting to go out together and relax and eat dinner or watch a movie without littles interrupting to tell you about their latest bowel movements. Micah and I met in culinary school so eating out is our favorite thing to do together, we don't agree on many movies besides Marvels Avengers, so unless there is a new one out, we typically stick to food.
Third: Kid time, almost like date night, but with your kid instead! This switches up a lot, sometimes its a simple trip to the store with just one kid so you get a little quality time with them, or a trip to LEGO land. Either way, getting individual time with your kids is a good way to get to learn so much about them! Addy is at such an inquisitive age, and it amazes me how her mind works, its easy to overlook those things when your focused on the day to day tasks at home. Nate on the other hand, he is getting to the stage where he really loves someone to sit down and play with him, so setting aside time to just play Transformers for an afternoon with no interruptions of big sister is so fun for him. Having kids really puts life into hyper speed, so being present in the moment with them is so precious. We have to be very purposeful about that type of time with them.
Fourth: Individual friend time, I have a great group of friends, that I know I can call whenever but finding time between work and family to go hang out can be tough. I tend to need/want that time out with friends more than Micah, and he is always great at letting me get that time. Having friends as an adult is hard work lol 😆I’m so blessed the friends I have are willing to work at getting schedules coordinated! I really don’t know what I’d do without time with my girlfriends!
Fifth: Alone time! This was something I never thought that I needed until Micah and I were first married and living in a 550 square foot apartment 🤪 Yep, I do, oh boy do I need that time and space for myself! It seemed with each new stage of life added a new sense of urgency for time to disconnect and breathe. That time is so precious to me now, there are days that I count down the minutes until the kids go to bed, just so I can close the bedroom door and breathe. Sometimes it’s taking the backroads home from work to just cry and let it go, sometimes it’s walking around target coffee in hand, sometimes it’s opening that book I’ve been trying to read for three months, it really doesn’t matter as long as it’s something I want to do for me. I know when I haven’t had enough time for myself to process and pray about things, that I blow things way out of proportion and that’s not fair to anyone.
What about you?! What things help bring balance to your life? What are your favorite ways to push your reset button? Share in the comments and let me know!!!
Monday, 3 December 2018
Wednesday, 7 November 2018
Turning Three and why that’s a big deal
Birthdays come so quickly when you have kids, you celebrate, blink, and they are already another year older and you are left wondering if time will ever slow down. Nathanael just turned three, and it was a time of fun and celebration! He had one major surgery and one minor during the last year, and he always proves to be so resilient, brave, and strong. Turning three allowed me to breathe a sigh of relief, it’s a time we have been waiting for, since we started learning about the ins and outs of NF1. At 3 years old, the chances of anesthetic caused mental delays goes down drastically. Having a little boy who has already been “put under” 5 times, that is a big deal for us. Surgeries in general are so difficult to go through, then to add in any “extra worry” it’s just overwhelming really. So this year even though we have one impending surgery, and the possibility of two MRI’s, knowing he has reached this turning point without any adverse effects is a huge victory in my eyes.
Nate had his wellness visit and he is doing really well developmentally, he is gaining weight like a champ (no surprise there!) He is steadily growing taller, which is always a concern after all of his surgeries. His overall health is really good, like most people in the cold northern states, he is low on Vitamin D, It’s a bigger deal for him because of his bones, but thank God it’s a quick easy fix with a supplement.
Not all of our celebrations revolves around medical news though, this past year we have been able to see his silly, laid back, allllll boy, personality take shape. He has been such a joy to watch, he loves anything “Transformers” related. Matchbox cars have been a huge thing right now too. He has opinions about what he wants to play with or watch, and puts up a fight with his sister if they disagree. They are learning comprise and taking turns, and both have done well with getting along. They are truly best friends, and Nate wants to do everything Addyson does and Addyson is probably the most patient older sister I know. Addy has always been bossy, but Nate is showing her he won’t be easily bossed around.
We are looking forward to this year of growth for Nathanael, he is by far my favorite little boy on the planet and I am so blessed God chose me to be his momma.
Nate had his wellness visit and he is doing really well developmentally, he is gaining weight like a champ (no surprise there!) He is steadily growing taller, which is always a concern after all of his surgeries. His overall health is really good, like most people in the cold northern states, he is low on Vitamin D, It’s a bigger deal for him because of his bones, but thank God it’s a quick easy fix with a supplement.
Not all of our celebrations revolves around medical news though, this past year we have been able to see his silly, laid back, allllll boy, personality take shape. He has been such a joy to watch, he loves anything “Transformers” related. Matchbox cars have been a huge thing right now too. He has opinions about what he wants to play with or watch, and puts up a fight with his sister if they disagree. They are learning comprise and taking turns, and both have done well with getting along. They are truly best friends, and Nate wants to do everything Addyson does and Addyson is probably the most patient older sister I know. Addy has always been bossy, but Nate is showing her he won’t be easily bossed around.
We are looking forward to this year of growth for Nathanael, he is by far my favorite little boy on the planet and I am so blessed God chose me to be his momma.
Tuesday, 23 October 2018
A birth story.
It was a sunny October day, I was going over some last minute details with my assistant manager because I knew my maternity leave was getting ready to start and I didn’t want to get phone calls every day. Sitting there I was having the worst back pain and nothing seemed to help. I finished up what I had to do, and said see you in 12 weeks. Walking to the car, I knew I needed to call my midwife, she told me to go to the hospital and let her know what they said. I called Micah, who was working over an hour away, told him I was dropping off Addy with my parents and headed to the hospital. I got to the hospital, and after being checked was told I was in labor. I’m sorry what? All those people that say, “Oh you’ll know when it’s time, don’t worry” were wrong, both times! Micah was on his way up, things seemed like they were progressing quickly, after a very awkward check by a nurse who was also a regular customer, I was getting moved to a real room. I was not prepared and I hated that, baby clothes still needed to be washed, bags weren’t packed, and I hadn’t found any helpful hints on Pinterest about raising two under two. Oh goodness the back pain though, this was new and I didn’t like it at all. Micah finally got to me and we waited, and waited, the contractions stopped, the dialating stopped, the pain stopped. I was so confused, the movies never show labor just coming to a halt, and they didn’t talk about that in Lamaze class. After lots of tests and checking, I was sent home to relax and sleep and was to be back the following night to be induced. Since relaxing wasn’t in my “to do list” I cleaned, packed, and tried to imagine life with a second baby, to be honest I didn’t know if I could love another baby as much as my first, but I figured it would work out. It was time to go back and after being attached to what seemed like a hundred monitors they started the induction process and man does that suck! I couldn’t move, or get the pain meds in fast enough, I was still holding onto the pride of my first easy natural birth and was against the epidural, until answeet nurse came in and said she I wasn’t progressing as quickly as they hoped and I can’t get any more of the medication they were giving me. It had already been a long seven painful hours and I knew I needed some rest, they called for the epidural. Labor and delivery is weird to me as a mom, a lot happens in a short amount of time but looking back it’s hard to remember all the details, one thing I will never forget though is the feeling of the epidural, Oh My Goodness, I looked at Micah and told him this is a breeze I could do this labor thing ten more times, haha! It’s a feeling that was a close second to actually seeing my boy for the first time. Once I could relax the nurse told me to nap and she would come check me in an hour, I slept hard and an hour later she came in to check and baby was ready, like we might not have enough time for the midwife to get here kind of ready. My midwife was the best and got there with enough time to scrub up and catch, and just like that we were a family of four and my sweet little boy was born.
It’s so crazy to think this was already three years ago and my sweet little boy, is so big. My heart grew that day, and is so full of love for both of my (no so little) babies.
Happy Birthday sweet Nathanael Eli, I am so thankful I’m your mommy!
Wednesday, 17 October 2018
I get asked a lot about Nathanael, what he has, what causes it, what it means, and how did he get it. So let me first say I’m not a doctor, but I am going to try and walk through our experience with NF1 as well as I can, and start with when we knew something was wrong.
As a baby Nate was pretty opposite from his sister, Addy was easy, breezy, happy, and ahead of the curve in pretty much every way. She was the kind of baby that made you think “ Why do people say this is hard? They obviously aren’t as good at this as me!” Don’t worry, I’ve change from my superior judgemental parenting mindset. Ha! Nate came along right after Addy was eighteen months, and boy were those first few months a whirlwind. He cried all the time, it didn’t matter what he ate, when he ate, how much he ate, he cried. Since we had no real reason to believe there was anything serious going on, we went through all the normal things with his pediatrician, looking into colic, acid reflux, and diet. When he was five months, we noticed that his right leg bowed significantly more than his left. He had just gone through a growth spurt and it was very noticeable that something there wasn’t right. I took him into the pediatricians office, and I’ll never forget her looking Nate over, the look of confusion and the sting of questions about his well being at home. She said Nate’s leg looked broken, but it didn’t seem to be causing any pain. Of course from a medical side I can understand why she asked so many questions about who was around him, who was allowed to be alone with him, and if things were alright in our home, but as a very emotional mother, I was crushed that anyone could think I would do anything to harm my child. We were sent to an orthopedic center in our area the following week, and after a parade of doctors came through and looked at him and his dozen or so X-RAYS, I was surrounded by five specialists, they closed the door, and like rapid fire I was being accused of abuse. I was shaken to my very core. After defending myself and our family for what seemed like an eternity one doctor asked if there was any history of genetic conditions in our family. I went through all of our history and there was nothing that sounded related. They sent me home with information about pediatric specialists and what to do next, I know they gave me a lot of information, I know somehow I got Nate dressed and back in his car seat, and I know I walked to my car, but all I remember is the feeling, the overwhelming, heartbreaking, brain foggy, numb feeling. I sat in my car, and sobbed uncontrollably, I knew I needed to call Micah and let him know what the doctors said, but I couldn’t form a coherent thought, let alone speak. The only thing I could think was, how could I not know? For five months, he had been living with a broken leg, and I was giving him gripe water? I was sure I wasn’t fit to be a mother. All of those judgmental thoughts I mentioned earlier of how I was better than other moms, right out the window.
I had a follow up appointment with Nate’s pediatrician and we started a path of looking into what the cause could be. One of those specialists we saw mentioned a genetic condition that affects less than 200,000 Americans each year, it was rare, but it was a start. I will say through this whole experience I have learned that having a good pediatrician, that cares for your kids is a blessing. We met with the head pediatrician at the office we went to and discussed the x-rays and symptoms, and he agreed that even though it’s a long shot we should start looking into that rare genetic condition. Geneticists are few and far between in our area apparently, but our Pediatrician stood with me in the doctors office and called three until he found one that could see us within three months. We had an idea of an orthopedic surgeon we wanted to see already and he sent the paperwork for the referral before we left the office. The next little while was a waiting game of getting into specialists. I hate waiting. We were seen by the orthopedic doctor first, I knew half way through the appointment when he was explaining his plan of action, he wasn’t the doctor for us. He was pleasant enough, but my mommy heart couldn’t deal with what he was saying. Standard procedure for this type of situation was to wait until the leg re-breaks and go from there. I couldn’t fathom this, I already said I hate waiting, but waiting for something horrible to happen to my baby seemed like real life torture. So back to the pediatrician we went, and we talked about DMC Children’s Hospital, he made some more calls and we were able to get appointments within the month. Overwhelmed doesn’t even begin to describe that month, it was finally time for our genetic appointment, He confirmed that it was Nuerofibromatosis Type 1. We learned all about it, it’s a condition that affects the nerve endings, causing benign tumors to grow. In addition pseudo arthrosis (what caused his leg break), cafe au lait spots (the multiple dark spots that kept appearing), and learning disabilities. Next was the appointment with the optometrist, eye exams are important because with the possibility of tumors growing on nerve endings, making sure he didn’t have any signs of blindness is something we have to test regularly and constantly evaluate. Ultrasounds of all internal organs, MRI’s of his spine and brain are all parts of his yearly or bi- yearly exams. We have had two surgeries thus far on his leg, but this post is already long so I’ll save those stories for another time. This was by far the worst time of my life, I like control, I like predictable, I thrive in routine, I was so far out of my comfort zone. I learned very quickly that I was not just Nate’s mom, but also his number one advocate. I’m so thankful for our support system, family, friends, and coworkers that understood my mental breakdowns and when I would need a shift covered last minute. I’m thankful for the group of doctors we have, that don’t judge me when I burst into tears or ask a million questions. I’m thankful that Nathanael’s test, have all been normal, that there haven’t been any complications during surgeries and that he is growing and overcoming so many obstacles.
Life can throw so many curveballs, and it can be overwhelming and messy. I have learned so much from my little man, but my biggest takeaway is to never stop looking for the positive.
As a baby Nate was pretty opposite from his sister, Addy was easy, breezy, happy, and ahead of the curve in pretty much every way. She was the kind of baby that made you think “ Why do people say this is hard? They obviously aren’t as good at this as me!” Don’t worry, I’ve change from my superior judgemental parenting mindset. Ha! Nate came along right after Addy was eighteen months, and boy were those first few months a whirlwind. He cried all the time, it didn’t matter what he ate, when he ate, how much he ate, he cried. Since we had no real reason to believe there was anything serious going on, we went through all the normal things with his pediatrician, looking into colic, acid reflux, and diet. When he was five months, we noticed that his right leg bowed significantly more than his left. He had just gone through a growth spurt and it was very noticeable that something there wasn’t right. I took him into the pediatricians office, and I’ll never forget her looking Nate over, the look of confusion and the sting of questions about his well being at home. She said Nate’s leg looked broken, but it didn’t seem to be causing any pain. Of course from a medical side I can understand why she asked so many questions about who was around him, who was allowed to be alone with him, and if things were alright in our home, but as a very emotional mother, I was crushed that anyone could think I would do anything to harm my child. We were sent to an orthopedic center in our area the following week, and after a parade of doctors came through and looked at him and his dozen or so X-RAYS, I was surrounded by five specialists, they closed the door, and like rapid fire I was being accused of abuse. I was shaken to my very core. After defending myself and our family for what seemed like an eternity one doctor asked if there was any history of genetic conditions in our family. I went through all of our history and there was nothing that sounded related. They sent me home with information about pediatric specialists and what to do next, I know they gave me a lot of information, I know somehow I got Nate dressed and back in his car seat, and I know I walked to my car, but all I remember is the feeling, the overwhelming, heartbreaking, brain foggy, numb feeling. I sat in my car, and sobbed uncontrollably, I knew I needed to call Micah and let him know what the doctors said, but I couldn’t form a coherent thought, let alone speak. The only thing I could think was, how could I not know? For five months, he had been living with a broken leg, and I was giving him gripe water? I was sure I wasn’t fit to be a mother. All of those judgmental thoughts I mentioned earlier of how I was better than other moms, right out the window.
I had a follow up appointment with Nate’s pediatrician and we started a path of looking into what the cause could be. One of those specialists we saw mentioned a genetic condition that affects less than 200,000 Americans each year, it was rare, but it was a start. I will say through this whole experience I have learned that having a good pediatrician, that cares for your kids is a blessing. We met with the head pediatrician at the office we went to and discussed the x-rays and symptoms, and he agreed that even though it’s a long shot we should start looking into that rare genetic condition. Geneticists are few and far between in our area apparently, but our Pediatrician stood with me in the doctors office and called three until he found one that could see us within three months. We had an idea of an orthopedic surgeon we wanted to see already and he sent the paperwork for the referral before we left the office. The next little while was a waiting game of getting into specialists. I hate waiting. We were seen by the orthopedic doctor first, I knew half way through the appointment when he was explaining his plan of action, he wasn’t the doctor for us. He was pleasant enough, but my mommy heart couldn’t deal with what he was saying. Standard procedure for this type of situation was to wait until the leg re-breaks and go from there. I couldn’t fathom this, I already said I hate waiting, but waiting for something horrible to happen to my baby seemed like real life torture. So back to the pediatrician we went, and we talked about DMC Children’s Hospital, he made some more calls and we were able to get appointments within the month. Overwhelmed doesn’t even begin to describe that month, it was finally time for our genetic appointment, He confirmed that it was Nuerofibromatosis Type 1. We learned all about it, it’s a condition that affects the nerve endings, causing benign tumors to grow. In addition pseudo arthrosis (what caused his leg break), cafe au lait spots (the multiple dark spots that kept appearing), and learning disabilities. Next was the appointment with the optometrist, eye exams are important because with the possibility of tumors growing on nerve endings, making sure he didn’t have any signs of blindness is something we have to test regularly and constantly evaluate. Ultrasounds of all internal organs, MRI’s of his spine and brain are all parts of his yearly or bi- yearly exams. We have had two surgeries thus far on his leg, but this post is already long so I’ll save those stories for another time. This was by far the worst time of my life, I like control, I like predictable, I thrive in routine, I was so far out of my comfort zone. I learned very quickly that I was not just Nate’s mom, but also his number one advocate. I’m so thankful for our support system, family, friends, and coworkers that understood my mental breakdowns and when I would need a shift covered last minute. I’m thankful for the group of doctors we have, that don’t judge me when I burst into tears or ask a million questions. I’m thankful that Nathanael’s test, have all been normal, that there haven’t been any complications during surgeries and that he is growing and overcoming so many obstacles.
Life can throw so many curveballs, and it can be overwhelming and messy. I have learned so much from my little man, but my biggest takeaway is to never stop looking for the positive.
Tuesday, 18 September 2018
Homeschooling: Week Three
Addy started art classes on Monday, she is a natural. She did a good job following directions and sharing. She is excited to go back, and I’m excited to watch her grow.
When it comes to actual book work, she is a wiz kid! She loves math, and writing. Nathanael is never far away, and Addy has started to pretend she is the teacher and Nate is the student. It has been really sweet. Nathanael participates in the crafts, sight word practice and the Alphabet songs.
Today Addy flew threw her work as soon as she woke up so we went with my mom to Spicers Orchard. This to me is one of the best parts of homeschooling, the freedom to get work done early and go on adventures. The kids had a great time playing, feeding goats, and picking out a donut (a must when at Spicers!)
Addy started art classes on Monday, she is a natural. She did a good job following directions and sharing. She is excited to go back, and I’m excited to watch her grow.
When it comes to actual book work, she is a wiz kid! She loves math, and writing. Nathanael is never far away, and Addy has started to pretend she is the teacher and Nate is the student. It has been really sweet. Nathanael participates in the crafts, sight word practice and the Alphabet songs.
Today Addy flew threw her work as soon as she woke up so we went with my mom to Spicers Orchard. This to me is one of the best parts of homeschooling, the freedom to get work done early and go on adventures. The kids had a great time playing, feeding goats, and picking out a donut (a must when at Spicers!)
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